Wednesday, December 05, 2012

What Do You Live For?

Port Angeles, the snow-covered Olympics from Ediz Hook
I have been pondering the question, What do you live for? recently...It's something in the nature of what I want to ask the women I'm painting for my 100 Hot Flash Women project, and I ask myself as well. I think I'm coming out of a profound cyclical depression brought on by short day light, hereditary bad chemicals, and a dumb habit of doing Life Review at inopportune times.

Just read MARBLES, by Ellen Forney, and I also have the benefit of the other side of the pendulum swing to mania..milder than hers, but so lovely when it starts swinging back. I've spent my life learning to manage the highs and lows, typical of so many creative people. It does seem to get a bit easier to stay in charge as I get older, although there are certainly more things to be depressed about.

Kathy Charlton of Olympic Cellars
Today is a Day Off, and I hate my job
So much Less when I am not there!
Luckily I had a dentist appointment at
8am that got me out into the world 
while it was SUNNY AND BRIGHT!
It's back to gray and dreary now...I'm
counting the days to Solstice (16). We 
don't get much sun here in winter, 
between the northern latitude and 
overcast days...not Constant rain, but 
sometimes it feels like it.

Today, 12/5/12, was SUN, blue sky,
50's (above zero) until 2pm, and the hygienist and I were both happy to be 
here, and not in our previous homes (VT and MT). I went out to Ediz Hook--shown above last May. The snow cover is back on
the Cascades, but not down here at
sea level.

                                                                                 I took myself out to lunch at Fresh Wok
Gloria Skovronsky, Sequim artist in fabric
   to celebrate my odometer turning 10,000
   miles, hoping that I will still be seeing   
   well enough to drive by the time I have it
   paid off in 3.5 years. What will I be doing
   to get my money by then? Will the 100    
   Hot Flash Women paintings be
   completed..and shown somewhere  
   other than my living room? 

   Is seeing things, making things,  
   experiencing things, thinking about 
   things Enough of a Reason to Live?    
   Being Kind, as the Buddhists teach? 

   Some live for research, saving lives,
   enjoying the grandchildren. Many of 
   my patients are saddened by losing
   the abilities they used to have, by
   increases in pain...but none would give up the wide and varied opportunity this life affords for enjoying sights, sounds, tastes, sensations, ideas. I love watching/feeling new images/objects take shape in my hands.

2012 Tiny Solstice Angels
Every fall, I design a new small angel
to make for friends and family. This year
I'm using some of the wonderful fabrics
I brought back from our trip to Ashland,
OR. They (and lifting weights) give me
something to do as I catch up on 
watching movies and old TV on Netflix.
Endless variations on one basic form:
a very pleasant reason to wake up
in the morning, in addition to catching
the infrequent sun, working in my yard,
seeing my patients get better and happier.

Soon the nadir will pass, another winter
survived AND ENJOYED!

What are Your Reasons for Living?



Post a Comment

<< Home